Here's his blog, just heartbreaking!
October 6, 2009 - Tuesday
Mama
First, let me say Thank you all for your prayers for my Mom over the past few years, and especially over the past couple of weeks. I believe, as Mama did, that God heard them all, and that they were answered.
She always told me to tell you "Thank you for the prayers> We sure do need them!"
At about 2:30 am on October 4th, she closed her eyes for the last time here on earth, and opened them in heaven.
ALl her babies were either with her, or very close to her when she left.
As for me, I got the news at about 6am Saturday morning, the 3rd, that she had taken a very sudden turn for the worse. I was in Kentucky and caught a ride with 2 very close friends back to Nashville where Kelly and I immediately left and came on home to Mississippi.
My prayer on the way was "Father, please let me make it in time to say goodbye!"
But I soon felt guilty over that and prayed again,
"Father I'm sorry. That's a selfish prayer. I aske instead that She not suffer, and that You hold her in your arms, and give my brothers and sisters your peace, comfort, and strength to make it through this. Above all, I ask that your will be done."
By this time we knew that at sometime during the night before a bloodclot had moved into her heart and caused a massive heart attack that couldn't be repaired.
As we made that 6 hour drive from Nashville to Hattiesburg MS to the hospital, I did feel God's peace and strength, with sadness and a bit of happiness for HER, knowing that she would finally be with Jesus and Daddy.
I had no idea that I would see her alive because the doctor told me on the phone right after we left Nashville that she was slipping fast and had only a couple of hours left.
Her pastor was there met us as we came out of the elevator on the ICU floor at Wesley Medical Center and said
"She's been waiting for you!"
Kelly and I hurried back to the room where she was.
She was barely breathing and her heartbeat was very faint and blood pressure almost bottomed out, but I took her hand and said,
"Mama, I'm here! I've got Kelly and your grandbaby with me."
She nodded and squeezed my hand, and tried to look at me.
She couldn't speak with the breathing tube in, and I could tell it was taking every ounce of strength she had just to squeeze my hand.
I fought back my tears, and I leaned over close to her ear and stroked her hair and said,
"It's ok girl. You don't have to fight anymore. We're all here and we all ok. You can let go, and go be with Daddy."
She squeezed my hand again. I took Kelly's hand and put in Mama's hand and let her hold it. Mama stroked her hand with her thumb while I held both their hands in mine and said a prayer, asking God that if it be His will to heal Mama and give us more time with her then please do so. But above all, that His will be done, and thanked Him for the time we had with her, and especially for the gift of her and her love, and asked that He take care of her.
After I said amen, she squeezed mine and Kelly's hand one last time. My brother Jack was on the other side of the bed holding her other hand and she squeezed his hand too. I leaned over and kissed her forehead and said,
"I love you girl!"
I felt her hand move faintly, and that was the last time she responded to anybody.
We left the room and let my sisters come in.
I felt comfort and peace, even in my sadness as I left the room with Kelly.
Two hours later, while my youngest brother John sat in the room with her, her heart took it's last beat.
My sister told me as have different members of my large family, that Mama waited for me before she let go. That she wanted make sure her last baby had made it home before she said goodbye. I believe that.
My heart is filled with grief, and sadness at the passing of the GREATEST LADY I've ever known. My very best friend on earth has gone on to be with our lord, and her husband. The most unselfish, loving, giving human being who gave her 9 plus children life, and loved all of us uniquely and equally, and who sacrificed her own wants, needs, and desires for all of us her entire adult life, is now an angel looking out for us all and waiting for us to eventually come home to her again.
She is adored, loved beyond belief, and missed deeply.
She was very firm in her belief and feelings that if you were going to send flowers to her, send them while she was alive so she could enjoy them.
She never wanted anybody standing around looking at her lying in a coffin.
So we her children ask that if you were planning on sending flowers, simply make a donation instead in to her memorial fund.
We aren't asking for money.
But if you desire to do so, anything you send will be used to help cover the costs of her burial.
ANything left over will go to her charitiy to help others in need.
Send cards or donations to:
Jeff Bates
for Barbara Bates Memorial Fund
3310 West End Avenue
Suite 400
Nashville, TN 37203
I will post more later!
Thank you all and God bless you each and every one.
Love,
Jeff
